The Strong Ones

This entry has been a long time coming. I know I don't update much, but that's because I usually don't have much to say. That, and when I read some of the blogs I follow, my problems feel so small. I know each person's trials are big to them and it's no person's place to judge others suffering. However, I do know that if I were faced with what some of the people I read about face, I may not be as strong as they are.

This entry though, has been brought on by a local blogger. She lives in the next town over and her husband works for the local police department (and is the HS liaison officer), but I have never met her. I am a stealth follower of an inspiring woman that instills courage.

This woman's name is Becky and is a mother to three beautiful, well adjusted, energetic kids, two angel babies and one very special angel boy named Benjamin that was with the family for eight wonderful years. I first heard of Becky and her amazing family when the sad news of Ben's passing was passed on to the community through the LPD's facebook page. I figured this kid must have been pretty special to have had such a special announcement on an otherwise un-personal page. Boy was I right. I spent the next week or so starting from the beginning of Ben's blog (that Becky wrote for him), and then another few weeks starting from the beginning of her own blog. I have both blogs on my reader, as she updates them both regularly.

I won't go into detail about what made Ben so special (if you feel like reading about him, ask me for the link), but he was a special needs child that required constant care. Becky (and the rest of the family when they could) spent a lot of Ben's eight years in the PICU up at Dartmouth due to infections and complications from his condition. That never deterred her spirit; in fact it seemed to make her stronger. It also didn't keep her from living her life and keeping up with her other three kids and her husband.

It's hard to put into words my admiration of a woman I have never met. The strength she has shown through losing a child, and all the other trials she has been through, is nothing short of amazing. Yes, there are days she falters, but that is to be expected. Those days sneak up on anybody that has lost somebody special in their lives. But what amazes me is that, through her tears, there is still joy. Joy in what she still has, joy in knowing that Ben is still with her, joy in the little things that life brings her. She is an inspiration.

The title of this is "The Strong Ones" so that means there is more than one person in my life that have had trials and faced them head on.

The second person I am in awe of is a "friend" of mine that I met on a wedding forum. Again, we have never met in person, but this woman is another shining example of strength. She shares very little with the world in terms of what she's going through, so I don't have specifics, but I know Jess is facing what comes her way with her head held high. You see, Jess has four young boys and a loving husband. That's not what makes her a wonder woman though (though some might say it takes a lot to run after four boys). My amazement of her is that she is a stay at home mom to these cuties, all while battling thyroid cancer. And it doesn't seem to want to go away. Is she giving up? Hell no! She is fighting it head on and not giving in to fear and keeps taking the next step in telling the cancer to fuck off. She amazes me in her strength in the face of something that would undoubtedly make me run in fear. Again, words fail me when it comes to my admiration of her.

Two more women that are an inspiration have similar stories, though they are separated by two years. I met both of these ladies on the same forum I met Jess on and we have all followed each other’s lives through the last few years.

The first is Vanessa. A little over two years ago, Vanessa told us all she was expecting a little bundle of joy and we were all thrilled! She shared her journey through posts and we all read them (as we did for each new addition to the wedding announcer "family"). Then one day, way too soon, we got the message that Vanessa had gone into labor. Little Noah was born 11 weeks early weighing only 1lb 15oz. It was a long, tough fight for baby Noah. Through Vanessa, we learned that life in the NICU is like being on a rollercoaster. He made a lot of progress, but there were a lot of setbacks as well. She never faltered though, and almost made it sound easy with her "never say die" attitude. I know it wasn't though, as the setbacks were hard ones to bounce back from. He did though, and is a very healthy, happy two year old.

The second is Sarah. She just had twin boys. Because they were twins, they were born early as well (which is normal for twins). They are currently in the NICU and Sarah is beginning to understand the rollercoaster that is life there. However, she counts her blessings and relays the little things that she is thankful for every day. They are only three days old, so I'm sure there is more to see from her as these boys continue their journey, but so far, she has weathered the storm of preemies quite well.

All these women have faced so much in their lives, and faced it with such courage and strength. Knowing these women, or at least knowing of them, has made me a better person. It makes my problems seem very small, or at least very manageable. Reading their stories makes me feel like I can do anything as long as I can find the good things among the rubble that seems to befall me through my trials.